Thursday, September 26, 2013

A new word, looking for meaning

 It's a truly wonderful word, and was unknown to science.  Until I came along, that is.

As a word, whether spoken, written, or even mumbled by Tom Brokaw, it has certain attractive advantages:

1. It has five syllables- at least.

2.  It has tricky spelling.

3.  It has the sound "phone" in it.

4.  It has the sound "syn" in it. 

5. It has "the" in it, which everyone can relate to.

6. It has the sound "sis" in it, so it is family-friendly.

7. Finally, it has the word "no" in it, and so it will have wide appeal to all ages, from toddlers to passive-aggressive adults.

After I invented this word-  (Just like that, about twenty minutes ago- you can't tell me pot makes people stupid!) - I did what any rational actor would do. 

That's right.  I asked the Google if the word "phonosynthesis" exists. 

Google of course, having a tremendous memory, and great intelligence, but not quite enough imagination for the task at hand, quite unjustly and brusquely brushed me off with this dismissive slap in my graphic user interface:

ScreenHunter_42402 Sep. 26 20.22.jpg

So, naturally, Urban Dictionary has never heard of it either- and I'm not ready to tell them yet. 
First,  I need a good definition for it. 

Seven billion warm bodies on this planet, and this task falls to me! -or to us. 

 It is both a duty and an honor.  

But it is also a challenge.

 As Flannery O'Connor might have said, a good definition, man, is hard to defined. Sadly, though, in this case, Flannery will get you nowhere.


But here is my best idea of all: a T-shirt with the following message:

                  What Part of 
          Don't You Understand?

What people will do is come up and try to tell you what they know plenty about photosynthesis. Then you just raise your eyebrows and give a faint smile while looking at a point exactly one inch above the other person's eyes and say, "Read more carefully, my hasty friend". 

Then, resplendent as a cassowary who has just bested a flamingo, you casually saunter away, like a lost French prince named after a smiling sea mammal. 

 Oh yes- It is okay to skip. Just don't overdo it. You don't want him to think you are conceited.

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